OU, oh boy.

here i am, back at OU and going through training to becoming an RA. It has been an eye opening experience and I cannot wait to share with my residents that i am not here to monitor their every move as i once thought that RA's were there for. I am here for much more; to be their mentor and to promote their learning so that they can become all that they can by fulfilling their goals and developing important relationships with others. I hope that i can provide this for not only my residents, but the residents of the whole building. either way, i am excited about this new opportunity and am embracing it head on.

recently i have been thinking about changing my major, yes, again, but seriously, i do not feel like OU has fostered my learning thus far. I feel like because they have cancelled my major they don't feel as though they have to put as much energy into it anymore, but what i feel is that this is my education that i am paying for, and i should get just as good an education as someone in the school of journalism or any other college. One of my solutions to this problem has been to apply to a different college. I have sent in my application as well as my college and high school transcripts to Otterbein college to see what they have to offer me. I feel that being at a private college, i will get more one on one attention and will be encouraged more than i am at ohio university. However, i have always felt that if i had a different major than the now non-existent art education major, i would love it here and be really and truly happy. I have explored a few options and one of them is to transfer to the art history major. I would be able to finish the major by the end of the year, and my interest in the subject has peaked greatly after my latest art history course. The only problem would be getting into the classes that i have to take without technically being in the major. The art history major requires you to apply every spring and since, well that time has past, i would really have to suck up to the man and somehow go against the system in order to get into the program and graduate on time. For the most part i would need about 7 more art history courses and three quarters of a language, totally doable :) so anyways, that is just something that i have been thinking about because more and more recently i have been getting turned off by the art education major and the institution that provides the so called "major".

So i am trying to figure these things out right now and hopefully i will finally come to an answer. After 3 years of indecisiveness and misguidance i think that it is about time to find out what i am supposed to do.

goodnight athens, its good to be back

regular, or decaf?

we are all given choices in our lifetime. but what keeps us from taking those choices that we so desire? is it our inability to let ourselves out of our own control and be opened to a world that can sweep us away as the wind does the leaves? there must be a balance where we can attain the things that we want to achieve while still feeling in control of our choices. or maybe that's the wrong approach altogether, maybe that is why we are here in the first place, faced with this inexplicable feeling of being torn between two worlds. should i or should i not? we could all just decide to let ourselves go and whatever happens happens, but there is a sense of direction that one has for themselves that seems to be the overriding guiding force of their life. when do we just stop and say leave me alone! to that inner thought and do as we please? is it because we are afraid of what might happen? will we get lost off the beaten path not able to find our way back to the choice that we believe we should have taken? and is it possible to actually go back and start over with a clean, fresh slate. Well if we felt like we could, then i guess we would choose whatever choice would make us feel better at the present moment. Then there is the question, if you could go back in time, what would you change? my response to that question has always been "nothing" because changing my past would change who i am today. would i really want to go back and try things over if i could, making different choices to see how my life would have been, how it could have been? and there lies the pressure. should i apply to that college? should i change my major? should i stay, or should i leave? what is the risk that i am willing to take? what is so horrifying about the unknown that makes us incapable of making a simple decision? regular, or decaf? or is it that we are just so selfish that we want the outcome of both choices that we are faced with? there must be something out there that will guide us in making these choices that we shy away from whenever they rear the corner. What is keeping us from facing our fears?


goodnight cleveland