so here i am, another relaxing Saturday morning, or should i say afternoon? this is a great weekend. All i have to do is study for an Art History test, which will be kinda hard, and relax!!!! so I've been doing mostly relaxing so far, oh who am i kidding, that's all I've been doing! haha i played guitar for a while last night and i discovered that i might be better than i though, who knows, i just need to practice a lot more, but i really enjoy playing the songs, and that's whats important right? ill be going back to play some more in a bit, then lunch with ABBY! :) and then some studying before going out with ABBY! haha.......
On a side note, OU just seems to rub me the wrong way sometimes. I went out with the wonderful Samantha and Tara last nigh to the DU barn for Jane's birthday party, and it was cool, a lot of fun, but i just wasn't in the mood i guess! it was really cold and i just wasn't having fun at all, i had prolly about 5-6 drinks but wasn't getting a buzz out of it, so i just gave up, lol, no reason to keep on drinking in my mind. it's just always different when you're in a group of people that you don't know but you can only assume that they're all freshman and sophomores and they're all drunk and you're not in the least bit....its pretty annoying, lol....but i did love being with sam and that was cool. Ill be going out again tonight with Abby, and i think it'll be better, i just wasn't in the mood yesterday. There was also this guy at the party who was the biggest douche bag in the world!! haha, he was like, hey I'm goin outside, some out later and look for me, and then later when i was outside, he came up to me and was like, what happened to you looking for me? and i was like, ummm, im not gonna leave my friends and its dark out here, i cant see anybody, lol, and then he was like, you should be ashamed of yourself, and i was not for that, so i was like umm, there's no reason for me to be ashamed of myself, and he was like, but you didn't come and look for me, and i was like, really, i don't give a fuck. god i hate annoying guys who think they're the shit, ugh!!! i just needed to scream last night. ok, sorry about that, i just needed to let out a little steam there.
ok so i better get to that guitar, because when i finish with that ill finally get down to business and write out my art history study guide, but in reality it might just get done tomorrow night!! haha...alrighty folks, take care. peace for now

listening to my itunes "sleeping mix". I think of certain people when i listen to this mix, although this is the longest I've been able to listen to it so far. I think that if i remove a few songs, ill be ok, but those said songs are the most relaxing ones. Seriously, if you ever have a bad day, just pop on this mix and you're good to go, lay down, relax, close your eyes, and fall away.
My week started off very slow, and its great to know that soon it will be ending. This weekend will prove to be a great opportunity for improvement for me. I have to write a lesson plan for two, 2 hour class periods on portraiture and self-portraiture. I am really excited to have the chance to devote all weekend to this project. The power point should prove to be somewhat easy, and the lesson plan will hopefully fall into place. The thing that i am looking forward to the most is drawing again. It has been forever, and it will be quite challenging to draw a portrait, especially a self portrait after not drawing for over a year. I am excited though, and after i teach this lesson next week, I'm pretty free and clear for the rest of the quarter. The following weekend will be spent studying for an art history test on realism, impressionism and romanticism, and I'm happy to say that i am finding it all quite interesting....much better than that damn art history course on cathedrals, haha.
So here i am, another late night....for some reason I've been staying up late recently, maybe its just because people have been home the past few nights, but I'm back to all alone tonight. It gets quiet in this apartment when everyone else is gone; most would like that, but its a little uncomfortable sometimes. I have not been sleeping very well and i think that it is because i have had way too much on my mind recently and it is causing me to stress out. Now that i am realizing this, i need to find something to make my one and true priority in my life, whether it be focus on my schoolwork, or my life in general, i need to rediscover what it is to be me. Ive never really had a chance to do that, and i feel as though i am finally getting my self back, my self that i have not seen since early high school. Hopefully i will be able to focus on that and not let it go so that i can return to myself, who i really am and be happy once more. lately, i have found my feelings to be quite interesting and confusing, i have been having feelings that were quite unexpected. Before break, i was in a doing good, but when i came home to Cleveland, even the slightest thing, like driving downtown, reminded me of certain things and left me feeling uneasy and damaged. I came back to school where no memories were to haunt me, and i find myself once again, four weeks later, discovering these feeling of abandonment and rejection. I cherish my friends, i hold them dear, and when i am not done the same in return, i am lost and do not know what to think.
enough for now. good night athens.